Like a book

My heart has been opened...like a book.
That's kinda funny because it took a book to inspire me to search my heart for truth. The truths about myself and the things I believe about myself and people and mostly about God.
What I found makes me ecstatic, scared, very disappointed and longing to know more.
I know that God loves me but I am not "in love" with Jesus, not the way other people seem to be. Warning: This takes me into the downward spiral of comparing my relationship with God to everyone else's. This I know so I have to be careful.
I have found that I shut people out. I am not talking about emotional shut outs. I guess it could be I just haven't went there in my heart yet. I just mean in the simple things like suggestions for my life. EX: I have people that I LOVE to be around. I WANT to fit in with. I long to get their advice, their wisdom. BUT, there are people that I don't really know. When those people come to me to "talk" or offer wisdom or advice I shut them out. I didn't do this on purpose. But, I did it. I have missed out on some awesome people. I know I have.
I have been redeemed. Oh, how I have been redeemed. When I learned what that means the freedom that I felt. I was going to share the definition but I think it will mean more if you look it up. Look up Redeemed in the Greek! AWESOME!!
I have passion. I have such passion. Sometimes it is misguided passion but passion none the least. I thought it was gone. I have passion for the underdog everytime. I have passion for the mistreated. I am learning how to express that passion I have without offending others and that is a BIG STEP but one that I am willing to take.
While typing this I got a call from a friend. A friend, who like me, is after a heart like Jesus. She had a word for me and it was this...Matthew 7:7-8...“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. She knows I have been asking and seeking. The word was keep asking and seeking..you will get what you are asking for!
I can't wait to see what the next few pages of this book hold. Day by Day God is turning the pages of my heart and i am loving what I find.