If you have ever really talked to me about kids you would know that I have always said "My kids aren't sleeping in my bed"! Guess what? I have a kid in my bed every night. My sleep is interupted every single night around 2am. He climbs in and tosses and turns until aroud 3 then Jason and I sleep with knees and elbows shoved in various areas until around 6. GRUMPY is what I had become. So, to save some lives and my sanity I decided it was time to do something. 2 months of this is all I could stand so Friday night the girls were gone and Jason was off on Saturday so the adventure began. When I heard the pitter patter of the feet I got up and took Jase back to bed. I explained to him that his bed was his bed and that is where he slept. Kissed him, covered him and left him to ponder. Within seconds...wwwwwaaaahhhhhh!!! He has found himself in an unpleasant situation with nothing to do but cry out. When the crying didn't work he started MMMMOOOOOMMMMMMYYYY!!! When that failed he tried another tactic that was sure to work DDDDAAAADDDDDDYYYYY!!! but only had another failed attempt. In his desperation to escape from the situation he found himself in he started calling out to anything that might help him, MIIIICCCKKKEEEYYY, WWWWOOOOODDDDYYYY but to no avail. I was laying in the living room and thought to myself. Poor guy, all he has to do is close his eyes. The answer to his problem is the easiest thing.
During all that I lay on the couch and ponder what to do next and God said to me "My children do that too" They find themselves in situations they find unfavorable and call out to all sorts of things when the answer is so easy. They just have to cry out to Jesus.
The next time you find yourself in an unfavorable situation and don't know what to do; instead of calling a friend, going shopping, hitting the fridge...try calling out to Jesus! It's that easy and your answer could be as easy as closing your eyes!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
New Ramblings...
How do you know when you have grown up? This question has boggled my mind for a couple of months now. Friends would ask with each passing birthday if I feel older and of course I would say no…age is just a number!
However, in my quiet moments, I would look at my life and think to myself, “When am I going to grow up?” What does it even mean to be a grown up really? Paying bills? Going to bed early? Being responsible? First of all, I know a 15 year old that pays his own cell phone bill and he isn’t “grown up”. I know a 2 year old that turns in at 9pm and nope, not a grown up and I know a lot of responsible teenagers but they are just that…teenagers IN HIGHSCHOOL. So, that leads me back to my original question…What does it mean to be grown up and when am I going to get there?
Last night, I had this dream…
I was sitting in a chair and making a list. The list looked like this…
What grown ups do:
1. Wash their make-up before bed
2. Make their bed before they leave for work
3. Always wear pajama’s to bed (never a t-shirt and shorts)
4. Always has a means to buy a loaf of bread or milk
5. Grills a lot
6. Lays on the couch and watches TV before bed
7. Gets to work 15 minutes early
8. Doesn’t like to get head wet in the pool
9. Never talks about finances out loud
As I was looking at this, from over my shoulder came this voice and in almost disbelief this voice said…”Michelle, that is your MOM”. You know what? It totally is my mom. These are all the things my 36 year old mom did when I was 15/16 years old.
My whole life, I have been drawn to wearing pajamas. I have felt convicted that I have NEVER washed my make up off before bed and felt less than responsible when my kiddo’s don’t have bread for a sandwich and had no idea why. Now I do…
Michelle vs. Her mom!
It is so funny the revelation we get when we aren’t even looking.
I am grown up. I am the perfect grown up. My definition of grown up is playing on the water slide with my kids. My grown up is using hamburger buns for a sandwich cause my memory stinks these days. My grown up is washing my make up off and using this cool new wrinkle cream…not because my mother use to but because it is smart and keeps my skin young and the whole pajama thing….I am gonna buy me some new ones just because I wanna be grown up!
However, in my quiet moments, I would look at my life and think to myself, “When am I going to grow up?” What does it even mean to be a grown up really? Paying bills? Going to bed early? Being responsible? First of all, I know a 15 year old that pays his own cell phone bill and he isn’t “grown up”. I know a 2 year old that turns in at 9pm and nope, not a grown up and I know a lot of responsible teenagers but they are just that…teenagers IN HIGHSCHOOL. So, that leads me back to my original question…What does it mean to be grown up and when am I going to get there?
Last night, I had this dream…
I was sitting in a chair and making a list. The list looked like this…
What grown ups do:
1. Wash their make-up before bed
2. Make their bed before they leave for work
3. Always wear pajama’s to bed (never a t-shirt and shorts)
4. Always has a means to buy a loaf of bread or milk
5. Grills a lot
6. Lays on the couch and watches TV before bed
7. Gets to work 15 minutes early
8. Doesn’t like to get head wet in the pool
9. Never talks about finances out loud
As I was looking at this, from over my shoulder came this voice and in almost disbelief this voice said…”Michelle, that is your MOM”. You know what? It totally is my mom. These are all the things my 36 year old mom did when I was 15/16 years old.
My whole life, I have been drawn to wearing pajamas. I have felt convicted that I have NEVER washed my make up off before bed and felt less than responsible when my kiddo’s don’t have bread for a sandwich and had no idea why. Now I do…
Michelle vs. Her mom!
It is so funny the revelation we get when we aren’t even looking.
I am grown up. I am the perfect grown up. My definition of grown up is playing on the water slide with my kids. My grown up is using hamburger buns for a sandwich cause my memory stinks these days. My grown up is washing my make up off and using this cool new wrinkle cream…not because my mother use to but because it is smart and keeps my skin young and the whole pajama thing….I am gonna buy me some new ones just because I wanna be grown up!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Let's give them something to blog about...
So, last night we had our book club meeting at Perk up and it was great. I can’t say that I got anything really eye opening. We had some girl time with girl talk and revelations from the last couple of weeks. We left with our reading assignment, next meeting time and instructions to bring a discussion question next week. I came home and washed my face and started talking to God. I really wanted him to show me something to blog about. I mean we just had this book club and I should have something meaningful and insightful right? I wanted something clever. A couple of things came to mind but never really went anywhere OR it was something that someone else had done.
That one statement leads me down a.n.o.t.h.e.r. road completely.
I didn’t feel that what I had to say in my blog was good enough. I don’t have a cute blog like (insert name here) I don’t have as many followers as (insert name here). (Insert name here) always comments on (insert name here)’s blog but never on mine. I found myself in this comparison battle A.G.A.I.N.
When I compare myself with others I am ultimately telling myself that I am lacking something. The comparison can be a big as a house or as small as a blog the result is the same. The result is the lie that Adam and Eve believed in the garden; that they were lacking something and look at the mess that caused!
I am made in God’s image. God is complete, whole and perfect. I am complete, whole and perfect. I am just what God has intended me to be! I am not intended to be a carbon copy of anyone else. We all live in different houses. We all drive different cars. We all have different blogs (I had to throw that in there since this is where it started).
Proverbs 23:7
"As a man thinks in is heart, so is he"
I will end with that final quote. What do I think I am in my heart? Do I think that I am good enough? Do I think that my words can influence anyone? If my words are just words on a paper and ramblings of someone trying to find their way and influence no one, am I still good enough? YES! I am perfect just the way I am. When I have it all together and when I don’t. When I am financially stable or when I am financially struggling. When I am feeling accepted or when I am feeling rejected. I am enough. God made me and he don’t make no junk!
That one statement leads me down a.n.o.t.h.e.r. road completely.
I didn’t feel that what I had to say in my blog was good enough. I don’t have a cute blog like (insert name here) I don’t have as many followers as (insert name here). (Insert name here) always comments on (insert name here)’s blog but never on mine. I found myself in this comparison battle A.G.A.I.N.
When I compare myself with others I am ultimately telling myself that I am lacking something. The comparison can be a big as a house or as small as a blog the result is the same. The result is the lie that Adam and Eve believed in the garden; that they were lacking something and look at the mess that caused!
I am made in God’s image. God is complete, whole and perfect. I am complete, whole and perfect. I am just what God has intended me to be! I am not intended to be a carbon copy of anyone else. We all live in different houses. We all drive different cars. We all have different blogs (I had to throw that in there since this is where it started).
Proverbs 23:7
"As a man thinks in is heart, so is he"
I will end with that final quote. What do I think I am in my heart? Do I think that I am good enough? Do I think that my words can influence anyone? If my words are just words on a paper and ramblings of someone trying to find their way and influence no one, am I still good enough? YES! I am perfect just the way I am. When I have it all together and when I don’t. When I am financially stable or when I am financially struggling. When I am feeling accepted or when I am feeling rejected. I am enough. God made me and he don’t make no junk!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Like a book
My heart has been opened...like a book.
That's kinda funny because it took a book to inspire me to search my heart for truth. The truths about myself and the things I believe about myself and people and mostly about God.
What I found makes me ecstatic, scared, very disappointed and longing to know more.
I know that God loves me but I am not "in love" with Jesus, not the way other people seem to be. Warning: This takes me into the downward spiral of comparing my relationship with God to everyone else's. This I know so I have to be careful.
I have found that I shut people out. I am not talking about emotional shut outs. I guess it could be I just haven't went there in my heart yet. I just mean in the simple things like suggestions for my life. EX: I have people that I LOVE to be around. I WANT to fit in with. I long to get their advice, their wisdom. BUT, there are people that I don't really know. When those people come to me to "talk" or offer wisdom or advice I shut them out. I didn't do this on purpose. But, I did it. I have missed out on some awesome people. I know I have.
I have been redeemed. Oh, how I have been redeemed. When I learned what that means the freedom that I felt. I was going to share the definition but I think it will mean more if you look it up. Look up Redeemed in the Greek! AWESOME!!
I have passion. I have such passion. Sometimes it is misguided passion but passion none the least. I thought it was gone. I have passion for the underdog everytime. I have passion for the mistreated. I am learning how to express that passion I have without offending others and that is a BIG STEP but one that I am willing to take.
While typing this I got a call from a friend. A friend, who like me, is after a heart like Jesus. She had a word for me and it was this...Matthew 7:7-8...“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. She knows I have been asking and seeking. The word was keep asking and seeking..you will get what you are asking for!
I can't wait to see what the next few pages of this book hold. Day by Day God is turning the pages of my heart and i am loving what I find.
That's kinda funny because it took a book to inspire me to search my heart for truth. The truths about myself and the things I believe about myself and people and mostly about God.
What I found makes me ecstatic, scared, very disappointed and longing to know more.
I know that God loves me but I am not "in love" with Jesus, not the way other people seem to be. Warning: This takes me into the downward spiral of comparing my relationship with God to everyone else's. This I know so I have to be careful.
I have found that I shut people out. I am not talking about emotional shut outs. I guess it could be I just haven't went there in my heart yet. I just mean in the simple things like suggestions for my life. EX: I have people that I LOVE to be around. I WANT to fit in with. I long to get their advice, their wisdom. BUT, there are people that I don't really know. When those people come to me to "talk" or offer wisdom or advice I shut them out. I didn't do this on purpose. But, I did it. I have missed out on some awesome people. I know I have.
I have been redeemed. Oh, how I have been redeemed. When I learned what that means the freedom that I felt. I was going to share the definition but I think it will mean more if you look it up. Look up Redeemed in the Greek! AWESOME!!
I have passion. I have such passion. Sometimes it is misguided passion but passion none the least. I thought it was gone. I have passion for the underdog everytime. I have passion for the mistreated. I am learning how to express that passion I have without offending others and that is a BIG STEP but one that I am willing to take.
While typing this I got a call from a friend. A friend, who like me, is after a heart like Jesus. She had a word for me and it was this...Matthew 7:7-8...“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. She knows I have been asking and seeking. The word was keep asking and seeking..you will get what you are asking for!
I can't wait to see what the next few pages of this book hold. Day by Day God is turning the pages of my heart and i am loving what I find.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Well...We.Are.Married
The day was perfectly imperfect. It rained. My dress was ruined by my shoes. The pastor made a blooper during the ceremony. Jase was all over the place. Chris had hat hair. We forgot that Jase wasn't there and we had already taken half of our family pictures. BUT all in all I wouldn't have changed one thing.
A big thanks to Kristen Miller for the amazing cake.
Brittanyann Photography (Brittany Willis and Jacob Olson) for picture perfect photography.
John and Debbie Pennebaker for the delicious food and punch (not to mention the B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L set up).
Dawn of the Day (Dawn Frazier, wedding planner)for bringing it and keeping it all together.
All of those that helped out before, during and after the ceremony...
Jessica and Jared Fletcher, Donna and all the Senz, Taylor and Jennifer Harms, Kim Barnes, Sherrie Bilyeu(the ferns were really pretty), Larry and Cathy Rodgers for being an awesome Nana and Pa and taking care of Jase, My family for the great time we had on Friday night (STRESS FREE)!
This was absolutely one of the best days of my life.
The day was perfectly imperfect. It rained. My dress was ruined by my shoes. The pastor made a blooper during the ceremony. Jase was all over the place. Chris had hat hair. We forgot that Jase wasn't there and we had already taken half of our family pictures. BUT all in all I wouldn't have changed one thing.
A big thanks to Kristen Miller for the amazing cake.
Brittanyann Photography (Brittany Willis and Jacob Olson) for picture perfect photography.
John and Debbie Pennebaker for the delicious food and punch (not to mention the B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L set up).
Dawn of the Day (Dawn Frazier, wedding planner)for bringing it and keeping it all together.
All of those that helped out before, during and after the ceremony...
Jessica and Jared Fletcher, Donna and all the Senz, Taylor and Jennifer Harms, Kim Barnes, Sherrie Bilyeu(the ferns were really pretty), Larry and Cathy Rodgers for being an awesome Nana and Pa and taking care of Jase, My family for the great time we had on Friday night (STRESS FREE)!
This was absolutely one of the best days of my life.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Carrying the luggage!
Most people that know me or have known me for a little bit knows that I have a good friend named Jana. I LOVE HER! I ADMIRE HER. I AM CERTAIN THAT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER I ENVIED HER! Reason why? She was always learning more and more about the love of God for her and how that opened up her heart. She was learning that she has all she needs inside her. The deed is done and we lack nothing. I looked at her and really saw a "Princess". She started teaching classes at our church. She taught at AGLOW. She taught at one of our retreats. She had a bible study in her home. I used to tell her "Jana, when you get famous and travel spreading all that you have learned I will carry you luggage to the planes." We would laugh and say ok and we would go on.
Well, today a friend emailed me and was telling me that she was advertising in a local wedding magazine for her business. I offered to help and then said to her, "Girl, when you get famous I will be your right hand man. I will carry your luggage to the plane and everything". Of course, she sent a LOL and said of course then God took over.
God said to me, "Michelle, why are always the right hand man or the luggage carrier. Why don't you dream big enough to be the one needing your luggage carried to the plane? You are worth being in the spotlight and being number one. Come out of the shadows"
I guess I never even imagined myself being "famous" or having a talent that would take me anywhere. If you don't imagine it (have the vision) you sure are never going anywhere but right where you are. The bible says in Habakkuk 2:2 "And the LORD answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it." I never had a vision and I certainly never made it plain because I felt I never deserved it but I do. There are several scriptures that reveal that to me! Then there is this scripture:
It is Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." but the desire has to be in your heart. Without desire in your heart what is he gonna give you?
I have come to the conclusion that I have to:
1. Know that I am good enough, smart enough and worth being #1.
2. Write the vision and make it plain.
3. Delight myself in the Lord
and one day someone will be carrying MY LUGGAGE
Well, today a friend emailed me and was telling me that she was advertising in a local wedding magazine for her business. I offered to help and then said to her, "Girl, when you get famous I will be your right hand man. I will carry your luggage to the plane and everything". Of course, she sent a LOL and said of course then God took over.
God said to me, "Michelle, why are always the right hand man or the luggage carrier. Why don't you dream big enough to be the one needing your luggage carried to the plane? You are worth being in the spotlight and being number one. Come out of the shadows"
I guess I never even imagined myself being "famous" or having a talent that would take me anywhere. If you don't imagine it (have the vision) you sure are never going anywhere but right where you are. The bible says in Habakkuk 2:2 "And the LORD answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it." I never had a vision and I certainly never made it plain because I felt I never deserved it but I do. There are several scriptures that reveal that to me! Then there is this scripture:
It is Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." but the desire has to be in your heart. Without desire in your heart what is he gonna give you?
I have come to the conclusion that I have to:
1. Know that I am good enough, smart enough and worth being #1.
2. Write the vision and make it plain.
3. Delight myself in the Lord
and one day someone will be carrying MY LUGGAGE
Friday, May 20, 2011
The Baseball Game called Life...
Funny thing! After about 8 years of walking with God I realized that I rely more on man to give to me wisdom that I do on God. I was finding that I was bummed when the latest and greatest “ministers” or “prophets” came and they had no words for me. I mean I was so upset. I would sit on the edge of my seat and wait with sweating palms but NOTHING…it was always for the “in” people as I saw it. But then, one day outta nowhere God said, “Michelle, if you want words of wisdom or knowledge just ask me! I will tell you”…well, duh!!
So for the last couple of weeks God and I have had amazing conversations. He has told me how much he loves me. He has told me how much I mean to him and how important I am. Isn’t he awesome??? That leads me here…
I had a dream a couple of nights ago. When I woke up I thought to myself, “Jason watches too much baseball because now I am dreaming about it.” Then about an hour later God nudged me…Michelle, that dream means something and this is what it means and he told me.
The dream:
A group of us (no idea who the us was just people) were at a ball game. We were all sitting around on the bleachers and hanging out. Some people had baseball gloves on their hands and they were ready. For what? I don’t know. Maybe to catch a fly ball but I wasn’t concerned. I was just enjoying the game. Do you remember in school when you would prop your elbow on the bleacher behind you and kinda snuggle you butt between the two bleachers? Well, that is how I was sitting. Really relaxed and enjoying this game. All around me people were so ready for anything. They were on their feet, they were squatted down it catch mode, I mean READY but there I was…LAID BACK! I also noticed that balls were coming at people. They were catching them with no problems but some of the balls were hitting the gloves really hard making a smacking sound. You could hear a grunt or two but nothing that really bothered me. Then, here comes a ball right at me. Oh I was a little scared. I braced myself and was ready for the hit. Then it hit me…like a feather! I looked down and the ball was not a baseball after all. It was a whiffle ball. It had no impact at all. Just a little “ploop” right in my lap! I kinda chuckled and waited for the next one. I was still waiting when I woke up.
Now even though God had already told me he was gonna tell me what it meant my first reaction was to go ask Jacob or call Heather but God quickly said, “No”. So I was obedient and I waited. Then out of nowhere it came! What the dream meant…and here it is…
Everyone I know or don’t know for that matter is gonna have life come at them. Some people are already expecting it and expect the worst. This is what the people with the gloves were doing. They knew that the pop flys would come and they were ready for the sting of the catch. Some people know that life is gonna happen and just stand there and wait with no protection or anything. The people catching the pop flys bare handed. Then there are the people that know life is coming but they sit back, enjoy life, not really concerned with what’s coming but when it comes they brace for it and then laugh when it’s a whiffle ball. These are GOD’S people. The one’s that trust God can handle life, even if it is coming at you at 100 miles an hour and will leave a pump knot the size of Texas. He is that good and that is where I am right now.
I know that life will have hurdles. I know that things will happen beyond my control but when they do I am going to sit back rested and relaxed with my butt snuggled between two bleachers and enjoy the game!
So for the last couple of weeks God and I have had amazing conversations. He has told me how much he loves me. He has told me how much I mean to him and how important I am. Isn’t he awesome??? That leads me here…
I had a dream a couple of nights ago. When I woke up I thought to myself, “Jason watches too much baseball because now I am dreaming about it.” Then about an hour later God nudged me…Michelle, that dream means something and this is what it means and he told me.
The dream:
A group of us (no idea who the us was just people) were at a ball game. We were all sitting around on the bleachers and hanging out. Some people had baseball gloves on their hands and they were ready. For what? I don’t know. Maybe to catch a fly ball but I wasn’t concerned. I was just enjoying the game. Do you remember in school when you would prop your elbow on the bleacher behind you and kinda snuggle you butt between the two bleachers? Well, that is how I was sitting. Really relaxed and enjoying this game. All around me people were so ready for anything. They were on their feet, they were squatted down it catch mode, I mean READY but there I was…LAID BACK! I also noticed that balls were coming at people. They were catching them with no problems but some of the balls were hitting the gloves really hard making a smacking sound. You could hear a grunt or two but nothing that really bothered me. Then, here comes a ball right at me. Oh I was a little scared. I braced myself and was ready for the hit. Then it hit me…like a feather! I looked down and the ball was not a baseball after all. It was a whiffle ball. It had no impact at all. Just a little “ploop” right in my lap! I kinda chuckled and waited for the next one. I was still waiting when I woke up.
Now even though God had already told me he was gonna tell me what it meant my first reaction was to go ask Jacob or call Heather but God quickly said, “No”. So I was obedient and I waited. Then out of nowhere it came! What the dream meant…and here it is…
Everyone I know or don’t know for that matter is gonna have life come at them. Some people are already expecting it and expect the worst. This is what the people with the gloves were doing. They knew that the pop flys would come and they were ready for the sting of the catch. Some people know that life is gonna happen and just stand there and wait with no protection or anything. The people catching the pop flys bare handed. Then there are the people that know life is coming but they sit back, enjoy life, not really concerned with what’s coming but when it comes they brace for it and then laugh when it’s a whiffle ball. These are GOD’S people. The one’s that trust God can handle life, even if it is coming at you at 100 miles an hour and will leave a pump knot the size of Texas. He is that good and that is where I am right now.
I know that life will have hurdles. I know that things will happen beyond my control but when they do I am going to sit back rested and relaxed with my butt snuggled between two bleachers and enjoy the game!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)